Solo Travel Isn’t As Scary As You Think (If You Know How To Prepare)

We’ve all been there. You’ve got that one place you’ve always wanted to go to. Only problem is, you’ve got no one to go with. You’ve asked your sister, she’s not free. You’ve asked your friends, they’re umming and ah-ing. You’ve even asked your parents, not that you really wanted them to say yes, but we’re running out of options here. Yet, here you are, still struggling to find a single person to go with you. I guess that means your only option is to… go alone? Terrifying.

I won’t sugarcoat it; solo travel is in fact very fucking scary, it always will be. But, it’s also one of the best things you’ll ever do. I’ll tell you why another time. Right now though, let’s focus on figuring out how to prepare for your first solo trip, to give you that final push in the right direction. How exactly did I know that’s what you were looking for? Well, because you’re doing all the things I did before my first solo trip. The searches, watching the videos, thinking about your first potential destination. I’ve been there and lived to tell the story, believe it or not.

Henceforth and theresquare: I’ve written this for you, yes, you, to encourage you to finally say ‘fuck it’ and book that trip, because, in reality, it’s really not as scary as you think when you do a little bit of preparation beforehand.

Pre-Solo Trip Preparation

I already know what you’re thinking. There are waaay too many things to think about before you even get to travel solo. From safety, to being alone, to planning what the fuck you’re actually doing when you get there. The list goes on. And, trust me, when you’ve never had to do any of that before, it’s a lot to think about.  

So, being the generous and selfless person I am, according to me and literally no one else, I thought: why not make a nice lil step-by-step guide to talk you through exactly what you need to do to prepare for your first solo trip, just to make it that lil bit less scary. Walk with me.

What To Do Before Your First Solo Trip

Okay, so we’re gonna break this down into 5 simple steps. I’m not gonna go through them one by one right now, mainly because I know you’re already tired of reading and you just want me to get on with it. So… vamos pues.

Step One: Get Comfortable Doing Things Alone

For a lot of people, solo travel’s an impossible thought. Truth is, it’s because they’re not used to doing things alone to begin with. If you’ve never even been to a restaurant in your home town by yourself, how were you actually expecting to pack your bags, hop on a plane, and explore a completely different country alone? Doesn’t quite make sense, does it?

Ouch, that might’ve felt a little close to home. My bad. But, if that does sound a bit like you, don’t even worry, girl. You don’t have to jump into this solo travel ting head first, no matter how much you have to go to that one place this year. Before any of that, you need to get used to actually being alone and the only way to do that is to practice.

It’s gonna look different for everyone, but we’re all working off the same idea: Graded Exposure. Wow, who woulda thought the one time I’m actually putting the Psychology degree, that I studied 3 whole years for, by the way, to use would be to explain how to travel? Anyway, graded exposure. What is it and how do I do it? It’s basically the idea that you have one big thing that’s causing you mad anxiety, stress, or discomfort. In this case, it’s travelling alone. You put that thing at the top of a hypothetical ladder and on each step below, you break it down into smaller things you can do to work yourself up to it. Make sense? Probably not. Here’s some examples I prepared earlier:

So, our overarching thing is feeling prepared enough to eventually travel solo, right? What’s the easiest thing we can do related to that that gives us a more fun level of anxiety? Ding ding ding. Doing something alone. Start off small. Maybe go to a cafe alone (a personal favourite), then work up to going to an exhibition, then a restaurant, then eventually something bigger like a social event or concert. After a while, you’ll get so comfortable doing things alone that the idea of leaving the country alone won’t even feel any different. When you do finally do that, you could even start off small as well; a day trip somewhere, a quick weekend trip here and there. 

The main idea is to start small and gradually work your way up. There’s no time limit either. Keep doing the small things as many times as you need until they no longer give you any anxiety. Or they do, but it’s such a small amount that it doesn’t even matter anyway.

Step one: complete.

Step Two: Have A Solo Travel Safety Net

But how do you get comfortable doing things alone when you’ve never done that before? Simple, you have an escape route. A kind of safety net, if you will. Something that can either literally get you out of there, or, temporarily take your mind off the fact that “wow, I really am just sitting here by myself”.

Let’s go back to our cafe example for a minute. So you’ve gone to the cafe, ordered a drink, and sat down. Now what? Do you just stare into space and hope for the best? I mean, if that’s what tickles your peach, go for it. For the average person whose peach remains untickled, this is where we introduce our escape route. 

Cafes are great because you can literally do anything in them (within reason), and no one will judge you. I mean, one time I saw a girl just sitting there playing The Sims on her laptop and I was like, first of all, why didn’t I think of that? Second of all, why the fuck not? They’re such a low risk environment that your escape route can be something as simple as having a physical thing to focus on; Reading a book, doing work on your laptop, or even literally just scrolling on your phone. 

When you do actually end up travelling alone (because you will, let’s manifest), your escape route might look slightly different. Say you’re walking through the street and you start to feel a bit anxious, you can’t just whip out your laptop and start playing The Sims, can you? What you can do is have someone that you can send a text to or call, just so you have the comfort of knowing that someone is figuratively there with you. 

Another thing I like to do is go to places near where I’m staying because, at least if I don’t like it, or if I want to be back in my bed quickly, I’m literally 5 minutes from home, so it’s not a big deal. I do this one a lot if I’m going out for dinner (especially on the first night), mainly because I’m not tryna get kidnapped just because I wanted to go and get a late night pizza. #Justgirlythings 

Step Three: Solo Travel Scared

Okay, so now we’re comfortable being alone and we know what we can do to make it feel less weird. At this point, I personally think you’re ready. You’ve done all the research, you know exactly what time the flights you want are and when, you know everything there is to do ever in the place you’re going to. It’s time to book that trip. 

“But, Caira, I’m scared to travel alone”. Exactly. That’s exactly why you’re just gonna book it. If you sit there and think of all the things that could possibly go wrong, or all the reasons why you should just wait and do it another time, you’ll never end up going, and clearly you want to go because you’ve been thinking about it for the last 40 days and nights. 

Story time. When I went on my first solo trip, I was in the exact same place as you. I knew I wanted to go on a holiday, nowhere in specific, just a holiday. I didn’t really have anyone to go with me, so I thought, okay maybe I can do this one alone. I found somewhere nice and easy to get to (Brussels), figured out when to go, what there was to do there, and found somewhere to stay. I had even requested the annual leave for it. But I didn’t book any of it. I waited and waited and waited. Until one day, I was like fuck it, the date I want to go on is getting closer and if I don’t book this now, I’m not gonna go. So, I just booked it. And from that moment, right up until I actually got to Brussels, I was shitting it. But guess what, I still went. And, I had a great time. 

So, the moral of the story is, you’re never actually gonna feel ready to do it. Even when you’re in the airport or waiting for the train, you’re still gonna be scared. When you land, you’re still gonna be scared. But, every day you’re there and you start getting used to being there, you’re gonna feel less and less scared. When the day comes that you’re finally leaving, you’ll be sad because you were actually starting to really like it there. You could even see yourself moving. But, none of that happens if you don’t just take that step and book it. Even if you have to close your eyes to do it.

Step Four: How To Not Feel Alone When Solo Travelling

Now, obviously, you’re going alone, so at some point, it’s really gonna feel like you’re alone, because well… you are. And although we’ve practiced getting used to that feeling, it’s very different being in your hometown and knowing you can just go back to the comfort of your home. When you solo travel, you don’t have that option. If you plan to go alone for 3, 4, 5 days, you have to be prepared for the chance that you might actually be alone for 3, 4, 5 days.

But just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. There are so many ways that you can still have human interactions when you’re travelling by yourself. The easiest of which is just being around people. Public places are called public places for a reason. Museums, exhibitions, tourist attractions, they’re all going to have other humans there. At this point, I’m not saying you even have to interact with anyone, it’s just the idea of seeing that other people still exist. 

Now, I get, for some people, that can make them feel lonelier. My favourite hack for that is simply pretend you’re with them. Yup. You don’t have to be weird about it, but just listen to people’s conversations, pretend they’re your friends. It makes you feel like you’re part of something, without actually having to do anything. Sometimes, you even get some real juicy tea. Like the time I found out a girl had flirted (heavily) with a guy at her housewarming party, only to find out the next morning that he actually had a whole girlfriend and kid on the way and the reason he didn’t say anything was because he “didn’t like the term girlfriend”. When I tell you I had to try so hard not to gasp. Wow.

The next step up, where you’re around other people, but you lowkey do have to interact with them a tiny bit, is to go to a restaurant or cafe. If worst comes to worst, the most you’ll have to do is order what you need to order and then go on about your business. But, sometimes, you might actually end up having a decent conversation. And you never know, you might get some local insight that completely changes what you had planned for the rest of your trip. Or, my personal favourite, you might even get free stuff out of it. You never know until you try. Results may vary.

Lastly, and arguably the most difficult for first time solo travellers: booking group activities. Now, me? I love a day trip, a cooking class, a guided tour. I feel like they just add a bit of excitement to your trip. Plus, they’re a really good way to actually interact with other people for an extended period of time. I mean, yes, most people will be there in pairs/groups, but there will most likely be at least one other person by themselves. And, naturally, the solo people end up gravitating towards each other. Even the people in groups aren’t as scary as they seem. I can confirm all of this because that’s how I met most of the people I’ve now made long term, international friendships with when I went on my birthday solo trip to Puerto Rico. More on that another time.

Step Five: Staying Safe While Travelling Alone

Alright, we’re in the final sprint now (thank God!) and I fear this is one of the most important sections; Something people tend to worry about the most with solo travel. Is it safe? Obviously, nothing’s ever gonna be 100% safe, but there are definitely ways you can help yourself stay safe so that you, and your mum back home worrying about your every move, can sleep peacefully at night.

Firstly, make sure people know what you’re doing day by day, hour by hour. Put down everything that you plan to do, in the order you plan to do them. If something changes, or you’re feeling spontaneous, make sure you update the itinerary. The best thing to do would be to make it before you go, but if you like living on the edge and seeing where the day takes you, you can still update it on the fly. Once you have something you’re working off, send it to someone (or multiple people) so they know what you’re getting up to.

For the double whammy, share your location with people. In the modern day and age, there are ways to see exactly where your friends and family are at all times. And, if they end up being somewhere they’re not supposed to be, you’ll know immediately. Or as soon as you check. Introducing: Find My Friends… or non-Apple affiliated equivalent (Life360, potentially? Don’t quote me on that). Oh, I know this app absolutely hates to see me coming. I check on that thing like it’s a game, but I just need to make sure my Sims are where they need to be. For safety reasons, of course. But, when you’re travelling alone, and you have an itinerary, it’s actually really important, and potentially life saving, that you can be someone’s Sim. For example, if you said you were meant to be at the Eiffel Tower in the morning and you actually end up deep in a forest, clearly something’s gone wrong and someone will know immediately. 

On the topic of someone knowing what you’re doing: Check in with people. Even if it’s just to reply to a random TikTok to keep your streak alive, posting an Instagram story of your travels (NEVER live though – We’ll talk about this another time), or sending a “just got ice cream” message, let someone know you’re still alive. 

FAQ: From First Time Solo Travellers

Question 1: What To Do When You’re Alone?

There are sooo many things you could do. Sit there and twiddle your thumbs, read a book, watch a video, get a drink, call a friend, make a friend, draw, scroll socials… the list is endless. 

Question 2: Is It Scary?

Yes – coming from someone who’s done this multiple times now. It’s always gonna be scary before you get there, you just need to push through and get there. Once you’re settled, it’s absolutely fine. 

Question 3: Is It Lonely?

It can be, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes it’s actually nice to be alone. It all depends on how you think about it. Whether you see it as being lonely, or just spending time alone.  

Question 4: How To Make Friends?

Very simply put: talk to people. Restaurant staff, strangers on the street, the person next to you at the museum.  People are more willing to have a conversation than you think. If that doesn’t work, there’s always the option to do group activities.

Question 5: Is It Safe?

Not 100%, obviously. But you can make it safer for yourself, especially if you’re a woman, by doing small things like sharing your location, checking in with people, and being aware of your surroundings. I know, I hate that we have to do it too, pero así es la vida. 

Are You Prepared Enough For Your First Solo Trip?

And there it is folks. I hope you enjoyed the show. By the time you get this bit, I hope you’re feeling a bit less scared about taking that first trip alone. Take your time with it. If you’re not ready to fly off to Thailand for 2 weeks just yet, book a day trip to Italy instead. Start small, work your way up, and get used to doing things on your own. Things might go wrong, it’s a very likely possibility, but don’t let it throw you off. Be open to new experiences and okay with plans changing. But, most importantly, stay safe.

Hopefully, I’ll see you all in Thailand soon 😉

Byeee, bestie

Caira